Great as a concept - terrible when it comes to the crushing reality that is the dating market as it is.
Average looking men are already dealing with an incredibly challenging dating market. Now you add on that they have higher expectations for their partners behavior - you're going to be completely alone for the rest of your life.
I hate to say it but the reality is - you're better off trying to mold/brainwash/train your partner to become more accepting of men's feelings than looking for some unicorn that already accepts them.
are you sure it's a unicorn? i didn't get that impression. i can't remember having a girlfriend that wasn't open to my feelings. of course everyone's sample size is very small, and being your average introvert meant that there weren't so many opportunities to meet someone, and there also may be the idea that women who are not open to a mans feelings would not even be interested in someone like me in the first place. that is to say, a woman who cares about a mans feeling is looking at other qualities, that potentially raise the chances for an average looking man.
so maybe there was some self selection going on rather than intent from my side. but that also counters the idea that it's a unicorn. but there is also a cultural dimension, as i was traveling the world, most people i met did not come from western countries. so maybe they are a unicorn in the western cultures.
You've just whittled down your already small dating pool to something even smaller, or you've alienated your girlfriend (or wife) of 3 years. Was it worth it?
Emotional vulnerability and openness is predicated on trust. If you can't trust your partner to be there when you express yourself, then you have a serious problem. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship.
If anything I feel like becoming more emotionally mature opened up my dating pool, and made me a better partner. Ultimately you are better off being with someone who you can talk about your emotions with.
I've been in relationships where I couldn't talk about my problems, and being unable to talk about them didn't make those problems disappear.
Yes, very much worth it. As someone who divorced after two decades, living your life behind a mask isn’t worth it for any romantic relationship. Which will lack true intimacy, since you will not be known for who you are. You will never feel chosen just for being you, because she won’t know who that is.
I get open and vulnerable and emotional with my partner, and I have since the beginning. Hasn’t hurt things yet. Maybe that’s still coming, but again, I’d rather be single.
