You should try VR porn. Like actually try it. I have heard it loses it's gimmick really fast. It's extremely limited because the camera rig required for video content is restrictive, and the only ones who can afford it are really boring studios, and it's not actually "VR", but merely "3D with a large field of view", which turns out to not be that great, and the "games" that let you interact are often cash grabs, and plenty more often just store bought 3D assets with extremely mediocre animation.
Go look at the VR porn subreddit. It's really not impressive. Also the story that VHS won because of porn is a lie. Porn doesn't drive innovation like most people claim.
With $3500 you can go on an epic drug fueled sex party with high quality real live escorts that will make your mates jealous and will be an experience you remember for life.
Spending $3500 just to wank at VR videos is crazy.
Yeah but that involves going out, talking to people, and actually having a witness to your own desires.
Don't underestimate the power of shame; it's not about getting off, it's about getting off in private without anyone knowing about it. And it's about being in control, because an escort can say 'no', will not just disappear when you have post-nut clarity, will have their own boundaries.
At some point the signals going to your brain won't be too different. VR + AI experiences have way more potential, and will greatly accelerate the trend of people mapping out their limbic systems.
How? Maybe when we plug our brains directly into the matrix through a neural interface for direct electrical simulation but that's SciFi for now. We're still at the step of VR headsets.
Of course there will be variation in what people will accept. For many, near enough is good enough (I was surprised to hear that people had AI partners.)
You sound like those people who want AI to mimic human behavior, yet there are so many more interesting applications outside of that constraint.