One thing which is often missing or just left implicit in two-way communication is the self-referential aspect:
How are you talking to yourself?
Most people have a hard time tuning into this part because self-talk usually starts in early childhood and by the time one can be made fully "aware" of it, it has already faded into the normal background noise of being oneself, so it rarely gets openly interrogated. The self-talk doesn't have to be sophisticated, it can just be a constant pink noise of: "This is just dumb." ... "I'm miserable" ... "It's my fault" ... "I'm not worthy of love" ... "I'm disgusted by myself".
And, here, I'm still very polite with the wording.
Of course this inevitably bleeds in how you communicate with other people and especially the people in your life you really care about. If you never cultivated to encourage yourself, be kind, patient and forgiving toward yourself at some point you can't sustain the illusion (e.g. "nicest, loving ... person") and eventually it will leash out.
There is a solipsistic aspect in communication worth exploring: I often find that communicating with one another openly and freely is also making one aware of each other's (hurtful, embarrassing ...) self-talk and can make way for the kind of primordial empathy buried deep in oneself and by extension make it easier to fully connect with the feelings of other people.
How are you talking to yourself?
Most people have a hard time tuning into this part because self-talk usually starts in early childhood and by the time one can be made fully "aware" of it, it has already faded into the normal background noise of being oneself, so it rarely gets openly interrogated. The self-talk doesn't have to be sophisticated, it can just be a constant pink noise of: "This is just dumb." ... "I'm miserable" ... "It's my fault" ... "I'm not worthy of love" ... "I'm disgusted by myself".
And, here, I'm still very polite with the wording.
Of course this inevitably bleeds in how you communicate with other people and especially the people in your life you really care about. If you never cultivated to encourage yourself, be kind, patient and forgiving toward yourself at some point you can't sustain the illusion (e.g. "nicest, loving ... person") and eventually it will leash out.
There is a solipsistic aspect in communication worth exploring: I often find that communicating with one another openly and freely is also making one aware of each other's (hurtful, embarrassing ...) self-talk and can make way for the kind of primordial empathy buried deep in oneself and by extension make it easier to fully connect with the feelings of other people.