IME I've truly let go if something bothers me less over time. My SO and I were taught to bring things up immediately. Yet that led to (what seem to me) a torrent of complaints that felt very one-sided.
My guess is there is a balance. Where little things can be overlooked, yet if they accumulate then it's best to talk about them at the point it's clear they can't be "let go". Ideally before things have gone on too long.
Having a qualified, independent third party can also help provide some perspective. Of course all this assumes there isn't evidence folks are just petty and manipulative. Compromise does take two and ideally both will feel there is an equal amount being sacrificed or gained by all.
Also I would recommend avoiding faith based counseling. IME their faith often taints their objectivity and generally pollutes both their advice and critical thinking skills. Even for couples who are of the same faith it can be helpful to get help outside the bubble.
My guess is there is a balance. Where little things can be overlooked, yet if they accumulate then it's best to talk about them at the point it's clear they can't be "let go". Ideally before things have gone on too long.
Having a qualified, independent third party can also help provide some perspective. Of course all this assumes there isn't evidence folks are just petty and manipulative. Compromise does take two and ideally both will feel there is an equal amount being sacrificed or gained by all.
Also I would recommend avoiding faith based counseling. IME their faith often taints their objectivity and generally pollutes both their advice and critical thinking skills. Even for couples who are of the same faith it can be helpful to get help outside the bubble.