Yeah the first part was good, but he second part was dysfunctional.
They way my wife and I do this is we dig into the why’s of the feeling to understand where it's coming from and to work though past issues if needed. We do this by talking about how we reacted and using the other person to calibrate wether a reaction is useful or over/under-reacting. Then talking through what we think a healthy response would look like. As a simple example.
Otherwise this is avoidance and putting all the burden on you which turned into what you mentioned walking on eggshells.
While this might work for you, I caution others from taking this advice. Why’s tend to be accusatory and puts the responder on the defense. Try to re-word your Why question by using the other Ws (what where when and how).
Sure, I'm just describing the general approach, not the specifics on how to execute it. No matter how you word it you're trying to understand the whys.
They way my wife and I do this is we dig into the why’s of the feeling to understand where it's coming from and to work though past issues if needed. We do this by talking about how we reacted and using the other person to calibrate wether a reaction is useful or over/under-reacting. Then talking through what we think a healthy response would look like. As a simple example.
Otherwise this is avoidance and putting all the burden on you which turned into what you mentioned walking on eggshells.