> due to feeling like walking on eggshells or being controlled in detailed ways
Sure, this could be done badly and could backfire. But it could also be done in a once a week session where partners share what they feel to each other. This is what I'd like actually and I admit it is not easy. I personally get over the small things fast and tend to forget them till their next occurrence, and at some point of this repeating I end up just spitting it out on the spot. It doesn't help that my partner dismisses everything I say as a kind of being oversensitive. If it wasn't for us having a child together we'd most likely go our separate ways.
If you are unhappy in your relationship you shouldn't "stay together for the kid". It's a common misbelief that that is good for kids, when in actuality they absolutely pick up on what's going on and it's not healthy for the kid to be in a not-happy family. I speak from experience, I was a kid whose parents didn't separate when they absolutely should have. I'd encourage you to discuss this with a therapist if you haven't already.
Ok, it’s also financial too, but mostly I want to be in my child life daily. The current situation is not too bad, we aren’t fighting but not an ideal match either and there are some scars. I learned to ignore the ideal, the ideal doesn’t exist. It’s the best calculation to my life’s eqution I could come up with for the time being. I could find what I am longing for through other parts of my life. I actually know this too well from my own parents, they too had a loveless marriage. I think a big part in what decides how couples work is their attachment styles the two have. It’s a theory that I feel explains my predicament quite well.
Your child will have their own relationships one day, and for better or worse will model those on the relationships they've spent their lives watching others have. What sort of relationships do you want your child to have?
Sure, this could be done badly and could backfire. But it could also be done in a once a week session where partners share what they feel to each other. This is what I'd like actually and I admit it is not easy. I personally get over the small things fast and tend to forget them till their next occurrence, and at some point of this repeating I end up just spitting it out on the spot. It doesn't help that my partner dismisses everything I say as a kind of being oversensitive. If it wasn't for us having a child together we'd most likely go our separate ways.