I'm also struggling with the same issues once I hit a certain size, and I don't want to spend 90% of my time trying to fix traffic issues.
There are four critical ones imo:
- Lifecycle Rebalance Revisited
- Realistic Population 2
- Rebalanced Industries Revisited
- You're Fired
Those alone will make the game considerably more enjoyable to play. If you do a lot of public transport there are additional mods needed to make it work well but I normally stick to roads so it's not a problem for me.
I'm also struggling with the same issues once I hit a certain size, and I don't want to spend 90% of my time trying to fix traffic issues.