Not sure. I attempted it once as a young man, but my roommate found me passed out with a foamy mouth and got me to the hospital.
I will say I think a lot about that, and how much pain I'd have saved myself had I simply locked my door.
As I mentioned it's a struggle I know I will lose one day, it's just a question of when.
Days like today it's hard to breathe. Like my chest/body feel weighty. I try not to think about things but the moment my mind wanders I find myself back in the mire, doing my calculations, thinking of ways, and looking forward to not feeling anymore. But I smoke a blunt and try to make it to the next 10 minutes, hour, day.
It sounds like you're further along the path than me. I can find few reasons to continue existing, but that doesn't translate into a desire to end it all. Just a lack of motivation etc.
I guess I just assumed there was more a gap between where I am now and suicide. And this article and various comments here suggest that gap isn't as big as I'd like.
Anyway stay safe, and if it's nice out, have a good long walk.
I will say I think a lot about that, and how much pain I'd have saved myself had I simply locked my door.
As I mentioned it's a struggle I know I will lose one day, it's just a question of when.
Days like today it's hard to breathe. Like my chest/body feel weighty. I try not to think about things but the moment my mind wanders I find myself back in the mire, doing my calculations, thinking of ways, and looking forward to not feeling anymore. But I smoke a blunt and try to make it to the next 10 minutes, hour, day.
Is that suicidal? I don't know.