I think you may be reading too much into my Scrum brain-space. Or maybe projecting?

I've looked at those things. Found what I think are the core valuable bits, and how they apply to me and my situation. And I do not want to interact with them in a professional setting, because they are almost always distorted beyond any reasonable interpretation of their core, losing all meaning of the term and being used as an excuse to continue bad behaviors. They're quite similar in that respect.