Great essay. Will reread again for some more pondering. I'm hopeful that learning some Buddhism will have some benefit.
I also appreciate all the other thoughtful comments here. Plenty of food for thought. Thanks all.
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My interest in Buddhism has recently been renewed. Was very interested as kid. Taoism, Zen, reading a lot, learning how to meditate.
Then I got diagnosed as terminal. Being a baby monk was very useful for coping. I wasn't freaked out about dying and everything was cool. (My stoicism was misinterpreted as suicidal or defeatist, which amped other people's freak out.)
I was ready to die.
Then I survived a bone marrow transplant (and all the complications). Oops.
Now what?
Buddhism, as I was able to understand it, was just such a bummer. When all life is suffering and nothing matters... How was I supposed to recover, rejoin the world of the living, pay rent, and strive?
For me to keep going required a suspension of disbelief, some nugget of hope, to reacquire the fear of death. (YMMV.)
Recently started reading again. To compliment some new skills I learned thru Swedish Pain Services, what I call "Pain College". Mostly because I'm curious about the "theory" behind my mindfulness "practice".
The most beneficial so far as been Jon Kabat-Zinn. Even so, wow, these Buddhists are a real group Eeyores.
I'm not interested in '90s New Age styled pabulum. I don't need anything sugar coated. I just want a better (layperson's) guide for self-improvement.
For example... We've all heard of phantom pain syndrome, right? At Pain College I learned about Graded Motor Imagery. During the lectures, I was like "ya ya ya, bullshit. No way I can just think my way to a cure." But I followed along and did what I was told.
Holy shit! It worked on one of my chronic conditions. It still feels like magic. The weirdest part is that it worked despite me not believing it could.
So now I'm wondering what other awesome sauce techniques am I missing out on? Because I don't have the awareness or mental models?
I also appreciate all the other thoughtful comments here. Plenty of food for thought. Thanks all.
--
My interest in Buddhism has recently been renewed. Was very interested as kid. Taoism, Zen, reading a lot, learning how to meditate.
Then I got diagnosed as terminal. Being a baby monk was very useful for coping. I wasn't freaked out about dying and everything was cool. (My stoicism was misinterpreted as suicidal or defeatist, which amped other people's freak out.)
I was ready to die.
Then I survived a bone marrow transplant (and all the complications). Oops.
Now what?
Buddhism, as I was able to understand it, was just such a bummer. When all life is suffering and nothing matters... How was I supposed to recover, rejoin the world of the living, pay rent, and strive?
For me to keep going required a suspension of disbelief, some nugget of hope, to reacquire the fear of death. (YMMV.)
Recently started reading again. To compliment some new skills I learned thru Swedish Pain Services, what I call "Pain College". Mostly because I'm curious about the "theory" behind my mindfulness "practice".
The most beneficial so far as been Jon Kabat-Zinn. Even so, wow, these Buddhists are a real group Eeyores.
I'm not interested in '90s New Age styled pabulum. I don't need anything sugar coated. I just want a better (layperson's) guide for self-improvement.
For example... We've all heard of phantom pain syndrome, right? At Pain College I learned about Graded Motor Imagery. During the lectures, I was like "ya ya ya, bullshit. No way I can just think my way to a cure." But I followed along and did what I was told.
Holy shit! It worked on one of my chronic conditions. It still feels like magic. The weirdest part is that it worked despite me not believing it could.
So now I'm wondering what other awesome sauce techniques am I missing out on? Because I don't have the awareness or mental models?
--
Swedish "Pain College" https://www.swedish.org/services/pain-services