I went through a similar set of questions on a second date. We have now been happily married for almost 5 years and have a 1.5 year old. I guess it worked pretty well!
If a woman agrees to do this with you on a second date, she must already have a strong interest, otherwise she would find it too overbearing. Anyway, I'm happy for you.
Hmm, not sure I agree with that. Some questions may be a bit heavy for a first date and some are perfectly reasonable. You would need to use your judgement and see what feels acceptable for the situation :)
The question content isn't the issue, the interrogation style of date would be the issue.
I can't imagine anything more boring personally! Am I at least allowed to read my book while we go through the list?
Having said that I'd also walk away from a job interview that was in a similar style, so maybe it works on a next level meta. We are incompatible because you brought a quiz to a date and I found it boring, the quiz was a success.
It's not intended as some kind of compatibility survey. The way it's supposed to work is both people answer all the questions – as opposed to one person asking the other personal all of them. You're also supposed to stare into each other's eyes during the whole thing. The point is to create a sense of shared vulnerability by both "forcing" both people to talk about things they wouldn't normally talk about and also by "forcing" intimacy into the space.
I'm saying the act of doing that would be (for me) boring, dull, unimaginative, lame, a bad date, Yawnfest 2023, the next stop is Snore Central where this train terminates.
As the parent of the comment I responded to says - if you and your date are willing to do this together you're already pretty compatible.
I realise the quiz questions are not to do that. I get it, promise! The reason you are on a date in the first place is to confirm compatibility, that's why I referenced and continue to reference compatibility.
On the meta it only really works to rule out incompatibility. In reality you could probably just skip the activity as soon as you both agree to do it. You'll find out the answers during the relationship, you don't need to speedrun it.
There's also an aspect of "is this real?" - if we want to just force a bond let's go to a theme park and dump adrenaline with each other for 6 hours. Way more fun.
Did the questions as per the NYT article once on a first date. Been married two years to that woman. Was the first (and last) time I used those questions.
now the fun part - would you have married her anyway without those questions?
just like the hardest part of harvard is getting in - was your serious intent to go thru the NYT questions high enough signal that you didnt actually need to go thru the questions :)
