NYC was fun in my 20s, but I could not believe the older people I was working with spent ~3 hours per day commuting to and from Manhattan and NJ/CT/NY.

Their entire life, Mon to Fri, was wake up, go to work, maybe spend an hour with kids or watch TV, go to sleep, and repeat.

And they did not get paid enough to do it from age 30 to 55 or even 65. The only amount of pay that would be enough would be an amount that allows you to quit that nonsense life after a few years.

I had a friend who's father did the 4 hours of commuting in/out of NYC every day. Used to visit a few times a year, and he did that every day M-F.

As a Vermonter kid, I had a lot of trouble getting my head around how he stayed sane.

He didn't want to be with his family.

Nope - he was quite a family man, great dad, gave every minute that he was at home to his family.

The money was good - I'm pretty sure that was the motivation. Also part of his personality - he grew up in serious poverty and was driven to climb the ladder. And climb he did.