They are separate. You can have the same rights and opportunities and have cultural expections. Paying for marriage is not required, but something the families choose to do. The woman has every right not to participate in that and must consent to the marriage for it to take place.
Not disagreeing with you about equality, but in many other areas it's on the groom, yet I don't think any pregnant lady would think, "Shit my baby is boy/girl. I don't want to pay for his/her wedding. Better abort now."
