"The general feeling I have is that if I do not do this effort of gaining expertise, I am not fit for life."
That's really the more pressing issues that you need to work on.
We all have blind spots about how things or people work, and we're all in a condition where "good enough" is almost always "good enough."
If it helps, the slow process of remaining curious and caring about the people and work you encounter that will build expertise, and that's a thing that takes decades to show itself.
And while we can do many things quite expertly in life, we can only do a few of these at a time.
What you might understand is that, to take just one domain, people looking to hire programmers are looking for is someone who knows about a certain domain, so anything that you're doing outside of whatever narrow field you're discussing with a single person doesn't really matter as far as many people are concerned. T0 the person hiring a junior JS front-end developer, the chemistry skills isn't often relevant.
Further, there is very little learning that a person can do outside of a job. That is a problem, but the way I personally solved it was to lower my expectations for jobs until I got one, and then keep looking for new ones until I found a position I have been quite happy in.
However, all that is outside of the problem you are describing: simply being a person is enough to make you "fit for life".
You don't need to be consistently grinding on learning new things if that's not an end-in-itself for you.
Simply being good enough at one or two things is what almost all of us have to be okay with, and so what you might consider is which specific issues leading you to feeling this resentment.
Are your expectations unreasonable?
Are the people you're dealing with assholes?
I suspect that answer to either or both of those questions my be yes; the fortunate thing is that either of those are easier and more useful to deal with than, say, becoming an expert physicist.
That's really the more pressing issues that you need to work on.
We all have blind spots about how things or people work, and we're all in a condition where "good enough" is almost always "good enough."
If it helps, the slow process of remaining curious and caring about the people and work you encounter that will build expertise, and that's a thing that takes decades to show itself.
And while we can do many things quite expertly in life, we can only do a few of these at a time.
What you might understand is that, to take just one domain, people looking to hire programmers are looking for is someone who knows about a certain domain, so anything that you're doing outside of whatever narrow field you're discussing with a single person doesn't really matter as far as many people are concerned. T0 the person hiring a junior JS front-end developer, the chemistry skills isn't often relevant.
Further, there is very little learning that a person can do outside of a job. That is a problem, but the way I personally solved it was to lower my expectations for jobs until I got one, and then keep looking for new ones until I found a position I have been quite happy in.
However, all that is outside of the problem you are describing: simply being a person is enough to make you "fit for life".
You don't need to be consistently grinding on learning new things if that's not an end-in-itself for you.
Simply being good enough at one or two things is what almost all of us have to be okay with, and so what you might consider is which specific issues leading you to feeling this resentment.
Are your expectations unreasonable? Are the people you're dealing with assholes?
I suspect that answer to either or both of those questions my be yes; the fortunate thing is that either of those are easier and more useful to deal with than, say, becoming an expert physicist.