The problem was she was scared of dying I couldn't broach the subject with her. She left me a bunch of decisions and no stories for my kids.
I wonder if the type of parent who consents to an interview has probably instilled in you a wonderfully inquisitive attitude. My mum did for me to be fair - she just hid her lack of one from me during my childhood.
In fact she hid lots from me. She was not one for looking back. She said my dad left me and never looked back, and neither did she.
As I went through her stuff I found books and books photos. I found every card I've ever written her. I felt like I didn't know her fully.
If I had my time again, I'd push her for the bits I didn't know. Early relationships. How she felt about becoming a grandmother not 1 or 2 but 3 times. Stories not for me, but for my kids. "this is your nana. Not the pictures or the Xmas toys. The imperfect person who hid her idiosyncrasies and addictions from her son so he'd grow up without them"
My wife and I have no remaining parents, so missed this boat.
Final tip: find out passwords, funeral songs, emails of friends, etc, as its way hard once they've gone.
The problem was she was scared of dying I couldn't broach the subject with her. She left me a bunch of decisions and no stories for my kids.
I wonder if the type of parent who consents to an interview has probably instilled in you a wonderfully inquisitive attitude. My mum did for me to be fair - she just hid her lack of one from me during my childhood.
In fact she hid lots from me. She was not one for looking back. She said my dad left me and never looked back, and neither did she.
As I went through her stuff I found books and books photos. I found every card I've ever written her. I felt like I didn't know her fully.
If I had my time again, I'd push her for the bits I didn't know. Early relationships. How she felt about becoming a grandmother not 1 or 2 but 3 times. Stories not for me, but for my kids. "this is your nana. Not the pictures or the Xmas toys. The imperfect person who hid her idiosyncrasies and addictions from her son so he'd grow up without them"
My wife and I have no remaining parents, so missed this boat.
Final tip: find out passwords, funeral songs, emails of friends, etc, as its way hard once they've gone.