We have a septic tank; sewage is not "someone else's problem" to the point we can flush trees with abandon. Our trees in the leech field have kept us from having to think about the septic system for 20yr+ since it was installed, which is not the common advice or experience either.

All a question of perspectives innit? If the quality of yer bumwipe is important enough to write about, perhaps you need better things to do with your time?

In many places, the plumbing might not be equipped for two-ply.

Why is this barbarian still using paper to smear his shit around his asshole instead of installing a bidet and washing up after he shits?

Yes, I want the bowl that I poop in to spray back.

That's not how bidets have ever worked.