> I find myself worrying that without me things will fall apart.
> Logically, I know that's not true. If I died today, the company or my team would not collapse.
Even before I got to the next sentence I recognized this from my own experience. You’re experiencing acute burnout.
It’s hard to disconnect from that, but I can tell you (again from experience) that you need to find a way to do that.
My advice is to set yourself a goal, to become a .1x developer for a clearly defined amount of time. A month is a great minimum. Go travel or even just find a fishing hole or something that feels relaxing and detached from work and just… don’t be at work.
Either you come back recharged and reassured that your team is as capable as your rational-voice mind is telling you, or you come back to flames and realize you deserve a better role that supports you.
Regardless, you come back with some time away to rest and think about what you want for your life, including whatever is next in your career.
> Logically, I know that's not true. If I died today, the company or my team would not collapse.
Even before I got to the next sentence I recognized this from my own experience. You’re experiencing acute burnout.
It’s hard to disconnect from that, but I can tell you (again from experience) that you need to find a way to do that.
My advice is to set yourself a goal, to become a .1x developer for a clearly defined amount of time. A month is a great minimum. Go travel or even just find a fishing hole or something that feels relaxing and detached from work and just… don’t be at work.
Either you come back recharged and reassured that your team is as capable as your rational-voice mind is telling you, or you come back to flames and realize you deserve a better role that supports you.
Regardless, you come back with some time away to rest and think about what you want for your life, including whatever is next in your career.