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Eurovision Song Contest Bingo (vonmalmborg.com)
108 points by ValentineC on May 14, 2022 | hide | past | favorite | 120 comments



The contest is happening ATM.

If you haven’t watched it already, I suggest you to go watch Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga[0] , a brilliant comedy movie that captures the Eurovision’s spirit very well. They also speak the truth about the voting: Nobody likes UK, so zero points :)

Jokes aside, Eurovision is a cringy but at the same time euphorically positive event, fetching 200M viewers worldwide every year.

Even Australia is now in the contest(didn’t make it to the finals but I think they should have made it, there are worse songs that did).

correction: Apparently Australia is in the finals! As they deserve.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurovision_Song_Contest:_The_S...


PLAY YA YA DING DONG!


Germany didn't really need to make last place. I thought the song wasn't half as bad.


For good and/or bad: The ESC doubles as a vent for political concerns. A lot of Europeans are frustrated with Germany these days. And France.

(Germany ended up at last place - #25, France at #24.)


> Even Australia is now in the contest(didn’t make it to the finals but I think they should have made it, there are worse songs that did).

Hey, Australia is definitely in the finals...

See https://eurovision.tv/


Getting many things wrong by the Eurovision observers is part of Eurovision. BBC is the worst (or should I say best) in this regard.


No kangaroo references? Boo!


I just watched the Australian performance. My first thought that was that they sent him to Europe to get rid of him.


> Apparently Australia is in the finals! As they deserve.

I was listening to some commentary and the commentator said, "I don't like Australia because they aren't in Europe. Respect the fucking geography!!"

We was quite angry about Australia being in the contest.

Then the other guy called him out and said, "What about Israel" and he replied, "At least Israel is Europe adjacent!".

I should note that these were British commentators.


(As an Australian) it depends on tone it was delivered in but this sounds like pretty standard AU-UK banter. Understandably we have a pretty similar cultural sense of humour.


That’s pretty awful, who were the commentators? I didn’t hear that on the BBC / Graham Norton commentary.


Some dudes on Twitch.


Really surprised to see the UK in second place. It's true that they normally have zero points.

It was always gonna be Ukraine to win this year.


UK "normally" has zero points? Not according to this table: https://eurovisionworld.com/eurovision/united-kingdom


In second place with a completely bland generic pop song, blegh!


UK is actually gonna win though?


I know, right? I can't recognise the world we live anymore!

edit: phew, not all is lost.


The true stars of Eurovision are the audio visual techs.


Truth. Check out this camera shot from a few years back: https://youtu.be/C3TBvJUtuHs


That’s from the Norwegian finals! The Norwegian Broadcasting Corporation has such an impressive and passionate technical crew, it is really fascinating how they manage to make truly world-class productions with a comparatively limited set of resources, both in terms of manpower and money.


That was actually from the ESC final in Moscow (sigh) 2009.

https://eurovision.tv/story/eurovision-2009-received-prestig...

They had a large Scandinavian crew for the broadcast production though: https://m-m-pr.com/eurovision-diary-2009/ ... different times.


My bad. Great work by the Russian crew. Got my years mixed up, Norway won in ‘09, but hosted in ‘10.


they certainly did a great job! Things like the rain overlays for the polish performance were pretty stunning, and it made me wonder how stuff like this is done.



The music is getting better, these last few years. There seems to be less of a stigma associated with doing Eurovision. You still have plenty of the downright odd stuff though.

This year Ukraine should win and it helps that their entry is genuinely pretty good. Norway have fielded a song about feeding bananas to a wolf, riffing on Little Red Riding Hood, in errm yellow. Spain's entry sported a pretty close shave and manages to lose even more clothing - quite a decent song too.

UK (my homeland) are hoping for a decent result after taking quite a few beatings over the years - "null points". Our boy has absolutely smashed it on the socials so should be OK. [Greece have just ticked under 18]

Whatever happens, we have our Irish compere to get us through the night. Graham Norton and before him Sir Terry Wogan, have been the voice of the Eurovision SC in the UK for absolutely yonks.


I just made the same comment about Ukraine winning irl.

But then they would be responsible for hosting the next games, which I think is a little bit too much to put that responsibility on them now.

———

Also; I’m not a fan of the fact that the Eurovision Song contest is basically a popularity contest between countries.

EDIT: Apparently this is controversial (-2 karma), tell me why! Cowards!

EDIT2: -3. Aight. I don’t try to add new points of view to topics anymore I guess. It’s good manners to inform why you’re downranking, unless it’s trolling..


It's next year so it can well be hosted in peaceful Ukraine, perhaps in Moscow.


Exceptions can and have been made, and the responsibility of hosting it then moves to the EBU to select a location


If it could be hosted in a UKR city - that would be something but I'm sure the rules can be changed and another country could host it provided there was a lot of gold and blue.

The UVSC is what it is and it beautifully reflects the state of the rather nebulous concept - "Europe".


I couldn’t find what you’re referring to.

This is what I found:

* Utah Valley State College (Orem, UT)

* Universal Visa Services Center (Dhaka, Bangladesh)

* Unadilla Valley Sports Center (Edmeston, NY)

* Used-Vehicle Sales and Certification Study (J.D. Power and Associates)

* Uranium Ventilation Scrubber Cell

And a cancer survivor charity.


Typo: U -> E

Eurovision Song Contest.


I watch it because of the popularity contest.

It's basically a yearly world war in song and dance form. Reflective of the current geopolitical tensions.

If it was a simple talent contest, it wouldn't be worth watching on its own.


Mandatory to watch Father Ted: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3omj87


Father Ted was commissioned in the UK after being turned down by an Irish broadcaster (I think the state one - can't recall). It was deemed too Irish, which was probably fair enough at the time.

Thankfully it was broadcast because it is a classic in my opinion. Mrs Doyle's ("Won't you have a cup of tea") mud and cocaine cake is up there in the comedy pantheon, along with elderly priest football and the milkfloat parody of "Speed".

Beautifully insightful parody without ever being cruel.


I don't think the Irish Catholic church were big fans.


That was then. I personally know one or two Irish Catholic priests and they are not offended by Father Ted and at least one is a massive fan.

I went to a pretty posh school in Oxfordshire back in the day. The school priest (Church of England) made us watch "Life of Brian" by Monty Python's Flying Circus and discuss it in our "Divinity" studies - an O Level (nowadays GCSE - 13-16 year old).

One of the other Masters (teacher) intended and was going through the process to become a CofE priest and was massively offended by Life of Brian. Perhaps he felt he had to be holier than thou or whatever. He was my rugby coach and was once a player for the Harlequins a long, long time ago so a good egg in my eyes but a bit whizzed up over a comedy film. I will grant him that LoB is a pretty robust parody/critique of Christianity (and English/Britishness and more besides).

Oh and there was a band at my school called On a Friday - they played by the Cricket Pav at the end of summer term 1989 to a load of kiddies enjoying end of term relief and glorious weather. You'll know them as Radiohead. Funny old world.


The UK education system is extremely odd and fascinating to me.


> Spain's entry sported a pretty close shave and manages to lose even more clothing

My gosh what a hot performance... Romania was also spicy.


"When in Rome"!

There is quite literally nothing else like the ESC.


They’re in Turin…


Quite, but there is an old saw hereabouts: "When in Rome, do as the Romans".


That justifies a lot.


"Boob shock"? What's the "shock" part needed to tick that box? It is EUROvision, there could be boobs in every performance, and still no-one would be shocked.


The bingo seems written from the North american cultural and religious bias. One of the unselected song for the Spain delegation was about that... with special appearance of Zuckerberg imperial boob (censor)ship.

https://youtu.be/-z9qeALR7j0


The main site of this domain is created by a Swedish woman. There's a lot of american cultural influence coming our way though...


> North american cultural bias

The winning entry is literally a rap song.


No boobs sadly, a few asses in thong though, but nothing shocking.

Maybe someone from the audience will jump on the stage again, that could "shock" someone.


Probably there's rules of fairness, for those who don't want to show. Otherwise, to have a fair chance of winning, everyone would be required to perform naked.


In case anyone is wondering that the voting looks a bit suspect: https://successfulsoftware.net/2008/05/26/is-the-eurovision-... (from 2008, but still relevant)


They changed the voting system since 2008 several times https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voting_at_the_Eurovision_Song_...

Also... you can already see Ukraine will get a lot of votes just because of the war not because the actual song. But it always have been like this


Yep, A LOT of politics in eurosong.... some come from neighboring countries giving votes to eachother, some due to "politics", some due to people living across the border, and a lot due to similar cultures, especially with etno-sounding songs. Add then all the expats (eg. turks in germany), and you get those votes too.

This year, ukraine will probably get a lot of pity votes due to the war, maybe even enough to win.


Depending on my mood I find the blatant politicking/nepotism either infuriating or part of the kitsch charm of the whole thing. Greece for example could spend 3 minutes with one guy banging a spoon on a saucepan while another strangled a cat, and Cyprus would still give them 12 points.

Edit: fun fact - this was apparently the first ESC ever without a single entry in French - the French entry was sung in Breton.


Well yeah... but usually the scandinavian countries gave eachother high points, and balkan countries did the same, eastern bloc, etc, so they were on similar high ground (while countries like UK didn't get any, but noone cared), and the winner basically depended on the few other countries, and 3, 4, 5 an 6 points from the balkan/scandinavian/... countries.

What happened yesterday was kinda predictable with all the "1 vote" = "1 thought and prayer" logic,but kinda ruined the voting and the end-results-suspense for me. I also didn't really like the song, also because it's not something I can see layed on non-ukranian radio stations, but yeah... politics.


> Depending on my mood I find the blatant politicking/nepotism either infuriating or part of the kitsch charm of the whole thing.

100% the latter. Moaning about Cyprus is an integral part of the experience.


… I can't believe the UK is in the lead.


The jury votes are always a laugh. Essentially the more jury votes you get, the less the public likes you


It is a shock. It was quite funny when the UK got nil point last year. I feel a bit sorry for the performer, but (and I say this as a UK national) the UK has been acting like a massive jerk towards their neighbours and allies (as well as it's own people) for the last few years.



Why, oh why does Eurovision prevent itself from being viewed in the US?

You could argue "licensing", but I'm guessing you're going to be hard pressed to find a contestant band / manager that says "we're trying to keep this low-key/limit publicity for now".


Blame NBC, the local broadcasters decide if they want to block it or not

https://polsy.org.uk/stuff/ytrestrict.cgi?ytid=https%3A%2F%2...


Blame NBC, the local broadcasters decide if they want to block it or not

NBC is not the "local broadcaster" in the sense that the BBC is the local broadcaster for the United Kingdom, or ABC is the local broadcaster for Australia. Broadcasting in the U.S. doesn't work that way.

That said, NBC does air American Song Contest, which is Eurovision production, and receives very poor ratings. Because of this, I surmise that Eurovision doesn't air in the United States because none of the broadcasters will pay for the rights if it's not going to bring in enough viewers to make up for the fee.

If Eurovision really wanted its program to be seen in the U.S., there is no shortage of small networks, cable/satellite networks, LPTV networks, or OTT providers for getting its program seen. It just has to offer the show at a reasonable rate.

I don't think this is a case of the usual HN cliché of "Evil company blocks me from seeing something for no other reason than to be evil."


>Eurovision doesn't air in the United States because none of the broadcasters will pay for the rights if it's not going to bring in enough viewers to make up for the fee

NBC bought the rights https://eurovision.tv/story/peacock-eurovision

After that it's up to them blocking the Youtube stream or not and they did block it

>I don't think this is a case of the usual HN cliché of "Evil company blocks me from seeing something for no other reason than to be evil."

No it's the case "we bought the licence and we stream it on our streaming platform and you have to watch it here"


Thanks for the clarification. That didn't come up when I did my search. I guess that's what I get for using Google!

So, it's not "blocked" as in not ever going to be available. It's just going to be on Peacock next Sunday.

No it's the case "we bought the licence and we stream it on our streaming platform and you have to watch it here"

No different than in the UK where you have to pay a fee to watch it on BBC.


It’s broadcasting on bbc one at the moment. Graham is telling us we can vote for Poland.

Is it broadcasting in NBC?


> ...or ABC is the local broadcaster for Australia.

Just a note here: The Eurovision local broadcaster for Australia is SBS[1]. SBS is also mostly publicly funded.

[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Broadcasting_Service


Eurovision has been watchable on free livestream in the US for close to a decade. Originally directly from eurovision.tv, later via LOGO. I agree that NBC's rights purchase is probably due to launching ASC, though.


NBC is the local broadcaster for Eurovision, given that they licensed it.


https://www.svtplay.se/eurovision-song-contest-2022

Swedish but seems to work in the US if you don't mind Swedish commentary


There's ways around it.

As of this writing, youtube downloader sites are mostly not hosted in the US due to this same issue - so if you can get one to work, it works around the GeoIP block. (Note: I got one to work, but it quit 4gb into the 6gb download)

The better way - which I am happy to be patient for - is to wait until someone rips it. I like to a few weeks later see if I can find the UK broadcast (usually a torrent), since a few years Graham Norton was the MC and was lightly poking fun of everyone the whole time.


Last year and this year we watched it on the Peacock app (casted to TV), which I hadn't even known existed before looking for a way to watch Eurovision. Last year it was free to watch, but this year I had to sign up for a subscription ($5) to watch it... which I immediately canceled after it was over.


Also not available in the UK for some reason.


But available on live TV in the UK (BBC1).


HN crowd doesn't know what linear TV is any more.


Live on iPlayer too (as live as iPlayer gets - 30 seconds or so behind DTT)


BBC gotta get that TV licence fee!


I’m still salty that Germany didn’t send Electric Callboy


Agreed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnzkhQsmSag

Edit: Seems like the juries are as well. 0 points after half the votes.


It's coming home!

Edit: to Mariupol


Congratulations to Ukraine, and I hope we all find peace soon! :)


Gonna be interesting to see where 2023 is actually gonna be hosted. I imagine they're not gonna send the production to a war-torn country even if it was away from the active conflict zones, and I'm not sure if I see the situation getting settled before decisions need to be made.


If they can’t find a way to host it in Ukraine (I think they, and the rest of Europe, will try very very hard to make that happen, and should!!) I wouldn’t be surprised to see it hosted in Poland as their closest neighbour and supporter. Alternatively the UK as a major funder of the event (we get a weird free pass to the final due to significantly funding it) and coming second place, I could see us taking it if no other option is found.


Well, they could host it in some eastern Ukraine city. Granted they ask the Ukrainian armed forces to stop the bombing that have been going on since 2014 ;)


We (UK) came second and I could not be happier.


Exactly, (as someone in the UK) couldn’t be happier for Ukraine. Absolutely unbelievable result but so much more important to send that message of support to our friends in Ukraine. Congratulations!


Sadly, gone are the days of being able to play “guess the nation Terry Wogan will offend this year” with the UK broadcast.


• “Pornstache”?

• “Implied homosexuality”?

Are these supposed to be… noteworthy occurrences?


My favorite Eurovision performance is the great Belgian entry from 1980, Telex: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6USa0zUMmqI

For the context, this is their actual music from 1979: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=___U9R8C2rU

(The disclaimer is that I haven't actually ever watched Eurovision except by accident.)


French language Kraftwerk? :-)


I'd say they were in the middle between Kraftwerk and Belgian ‘new beat’ (https://youtube.com/watch?v=4XUipCxjmmw). However, I'm not from that time and place, so may be mistaken, and they seem to have made a bunch of pop-oriented songs, e.g. ‘Rock Around the Clock’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XGXHDMIJw4


Blimey, UKR just gave the UK 12 points. ... so have Azerbaijan.

We seem to have lost the pariah of the world title. [Belgium - RLY?]

OK, this is weird.


Georgia has the same patron saint as England so clearly that's why they gave 12 pts to the UK (no it isn't)

Yes, the English (part of the UK) and Georgian flags are very similar too.

I have no idea what is happening here.


The performance that won UK the second place: https://youtu.be/4LcCdf8hMTY


I just came in to comment the same.

(For those not in the know, the UK tends to finish near the bottom of the leaderboard every year.)


We are currently out on top at the moment which is proper weird.


I was just imagining crowds of people in Trafalgar square singing "it's coming home" and it's not about football for once. Maybe next year...


Surprisingly we decided to award the "Most Hated Country in Europe" prize to another country this year.


Cheesy and awful but fun. I'd be down with Portugal or Ukraine winning. Although also liked Iceland.


So bad, it's good.


IMHO the audiovisual shows were always good and the last few years there are actually good songs(even UK sent a decent entry). Also, in an increasingly hostile world I feel like the cringe of the multiculturality and neighbour love is not as strong, it's actually a fresh breeze of positivity.


Eurovision 2010 was one of the most epic:

This song (from Moldova) is like the essential/prototypical over the top yet catchy euro song:

https://youtu.be/pHXDMe6QV-U?t=27


Moldova rarely disappoints when it comes to Eurovision-worthy songs x)


0:47 is where the epicness starts.


Sweden's performance...they have to win!


We really should have sent this entry instead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EsxUJfcsWM :)


Another one I'm really annoyed that we didn send to the ESC final, from 2010:

https://youtu.be/qB3koZTz8Pw?t=71 (Timoteij - Kom)


2010 was such a great year.

This was the song that first introduced me to the ESC community:

Eric Saade - Manboy (Melodifestivalen 2010) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtK7lsAdBos

:)


Always take away at least 3-4 songs to add to my Playlist.

It's not too bad. Loved the aesthetics of Spain this year too


> It's not too bad. Loved the assthetics of Spain this year too

fixed that for you ;)


"Overwhelming cringe" bingo square in the printed edition ends up cut out due to the number of Xs penciled on top of it


In desperate need of more upvotes..


The main problem with this year's broadcast imo that the hosts are not speaking _that_ good english. The whole thing just doesn't feel natural, it really comes across they speak a foreign language.


Is that really a problem? Oddly pronounced English is the official language of the EU :-)


For the nerds, there you can read about Euro English on Wikipedia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euro_English


One of the hosts is actually English - the bloke in rather vivid pink. His Italian is deemed fluent but no one has criticised his accent (which is probably odd).

I think that all of them manage a pretty decent English, especially the English bloke.


The Italian hostess can sing better than any of the performances tonight. Look her up.


Could it be because of the fact they are Italians? Or are you assuming the whole world must speak the perfect English?


1. It's up to the host country choose the hosts

2. Watch previous years, this year is definitely lower quality

3. I don't assume that, but I expect that considering an international broadcast (I'm from the EU, english is not my native language)


> 2. Watch previous years, this year is definitely lower quality

I remember previous years when it was in French.


People normally watch it with commentators from their national broadcaster talking over the host presenters, adding an additional layer of comedy or cringe depending on who's commentating. I miss the irreverence of the British commentator but have learned to enjoy the often misplaced disdain of the German guy since moving to Germany. Oh no am I telling you that you're watching it wrong? Uff I might be: sorry; I know that might be a bit annoying.


Mika isn’t exactly speaking a foreign language, though.




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