> Its not like I enjoy them 10/10. So why do I do this?
I'll push back on this. I think we have such a deep inbuilt instinct to lie about the things we enjoy that we often delude ourselves. Humans are social creatures, and the things we say, especially the things we say about ourselves almost are heavily biased by what we think will make others like and respect us.
You know this as well as I do. When people ask you what your favorite music, movies or foods are you'll almost always prominently declare the high status things you want and omit the low status. It doesn't even feel misleading. Of course my favorite food is sushi and not french fries, even if truth be told and I spent a minute introspecting I'd have to admit that in the moment I probably enjoy McDonalds more than Nobu. Why would it be any different about the moment-to-moment activities we enjoy?
Note this is very different that what produces a sense of fulfillment on a broader, zoomed-out level. If I think of any abstract weekend a year in the far future, of course my far mode self-image tells me to say I'd prefer to spend it doing a cool hobby like hang gliding than binge watching reality TV. And afterwards, I'll have fonder memories of the hang gliding adventure than the 9th season of The Bachelor. But in the actual day itself, I'm almost certain binge watching is more enjoyable on a moment-to-moment level than hang gliding.
There might be some short exhilarating intervals that slightly edge out the dopamine peaks of the reality TV reveals and drama. But the day of hang gliding also involves a ton of boring monotony and sweaty gruntwork. The medians and especially the lows are much more enjoyable vegging out on the couch.
What even is the point of driving this home? Because I think the lying is counter-productive to actually changing the behavior. Like the drunk who paints a romantic narrative about how the reason he drinks is to numb the pain, when in reality he's just lazy and undisciplined and really genuinely enjoys getting loaded, especially compared to applying to jobs.
If you've deluded yourself into thinking you don't even like some habit, then you've also deluded yourself into how easy you can change that habit. "I don't even like endlessly mindlessly scrolling through my YouTube feed, so all I have to do is build a better system and remove the triggers and it will be a problem". But if you really, really enjoy mindlessly scrolling YouTube, that won't work. Little, arbitrary barriers aren't going to stop you. The only fix is to do the deep psychological work it takes to build discipline and impulse control.
I'll push back on this. I think we have such a deep inbuilt instinct to lie about the things we enjoy that we often delude ourselves. Humans are social creatures, and the things we say, especially the things we say about ourselves almost are heavily biased by what we think will make others like and respect us.
You know this as well as I do. When people ask you what your favorite music, movies or foods are you'll almost always prominently declare the high status things you want and omit the low status. It doesn't even feel misleading. Of course my favorite food is sushi and not french fries, even if truth be told and I spent a minute introspecting I'd have to admit that in the moment I probably enjoy McDonalds more than Nobu. Why would it be any different about the moment-to-moment activities we enjoy?
Note this is very different that what produces a sense of fulfillment on a broader, zoomed-out level. If I think of any abstract weekend a year in the far future, of course my far mode self-image tells me to say I'd prefer to spend it doing a cool hobby like hang gliding than binge watching reality TV. And afterwards, I'll have fonder memories of the hang gliding adventure than the 9th season of The Bachelor. But in the actual day itself, I'm almost certain binge watching is more enjoyable on a moment-to-moment level than hang gliding.
There might be some short exhilarating intervals that slightly edge out the dopamine peaks of the reality TV reveals and drama. But the day of hang gliding also involves a ton of boring monotony and sweaty gruntwork. The medians and especially the lows are much more enjoyable vegging out on the couch.
What even is the point of driving this home? Because I think the lying is counter-productive to actually changing the behavior. Like the drunk who paints a romantic narrative about how the reason he drinks is to numb the pain, when in reality he's just lazy and undisciplined and really genuinely enjoys getting loaded, especially compared to applying to jobs.
If you've deluded yourself into thinking you don't even like some habit, then you've also deluded yourself into how easy you can change that habit. "I don't even like endlessly mindlessly scrolling through my YouTube feed, so all I have to do is build a better system and remove the triggers and it will be a problem". But if you really, really enjoy mindlessly scrolling YouTube, that won't work. Little, arbitrary barriers aren't going to stop you. The only fix is to do the deep psychological work it takes to build discipline and impulse control.