If some Indian tells you that they are progressive and caste is not followed these days, ask them which caste their spouse belongs to. And that will answer how progressive they are.
Caste is another word for tribe. All across the world, the vast majority of people marry in their own tribe, for a variety of reasons.
I married within my own tribe because I like my tribe’s food and customs, and I wanted a spouse who likes the same. It all comes down to socioeconomic class at the end anyway, whether it be called “caste”, or “doctor/lawyer/engineer”, or MIT/cal tech/Stanford grad, etc.
If you have a friend who is a doctor or engineer earning $400k per year, would you try to set them up with a janitor earning $40k per year? Maybe, but I suspect probably not. Progressive or not progressive, humans are still animals, and they are going to play the mating game.
That is what we like to think, but whether or not you are a doctor, or a high earning software developer, or a janitor is greatly influenced by the parents you have, which country you were born in, what year you were born in, which school district you went to school in, etc.
Hell, as I grew older, I realized that families in my own tribe that had more male children were generally far more economically successful than the families with more female children (because it was a paternalistic tribe at the time of immigration and wealth buildup in the new country). The men stay together and support each other, the women get married out and go to live with their spouse’s family. Their children’s economic opportunities were most definitely influenced by whether or not their dad had a lot of brothers to depend on or not.
If the income/wealth gap in society is large, there is basically no way to that society does not get stratified. The only solution to excess tribalism is to reduce that income/wealth gap, which is unfortunately moving in the opposite direction.
Note that I am not a proponent of a caste system or a formal method of tribalism, but I am merely pointing out that marrying someone in your own tribe is expected behavior, and will still happen absent a formal and rigid tribal delineation.
A low caste person can get killed if they "trespass" even by having mustache which is only allowed for the upper caste in parts of India or if they are seen eating before the so-called upper castes. Or for just making eye contact!
Funny you mention that because I really dont know, but I fervently agree with you.
My spouse belongs to a different state, speaks a different language. It never occurred to us to find out.
We did have a religious ceremony and at that time it turned out that me and my spouse belong to the same 'gotra'. In conservative circles that's a big 'no no' because 'gotra' translates loosely to lineage, although in practice its just another label carried forward along patrilineal lines. Some would consider intra gotra marriage equivalent to incest.
Anyhow, this unexpected reveal was a surprise but no one batted an eyelid.
I wonder if there are similar strength effects across progressive Indians when compared to asking Americans the highest level of education they and their spouse completed.
