I'm currently reading the book From Strength to Strength by Arthur C Brooks and it is really hitting home. I identify with everything you say, perhaps not as strongly, but I've chased success and achievement my whole life. And now, in my early forties, I'm over it. Work dangles the carrot, and I don't care. I want to spend time with my family, focus on my hobbies and physical health, that I time and again deprioritize in favor of working more. I mean, what if I wake up with a cancer diagnosis, or die in a car accident? I will look back at my life and say, what was the point of making all that money when I never lived? To that end I'm about to take a sabbatical (possibly early retirement), but there's an internal head game that the book is helping me with. It's not enough to step off the treadmill without some awareness of why I was on it in the first place, the short version of which is: my ego likes being admired as a Very Successful Person™.