I'm 41 and I can understand the existential ennui of being capable and not finding satisfaction in it, or life. I hate each passing birthday as it seems to mark yet another failed year of finding content; hopefully, you can intellectually see that, when I say it, it isn't true and worth trying - what else can one do?
I've also been medicated on SSRIs (in my opinion, they were only worth it when I was going to kill myself), had therapy (good, up to a point for me, but worth pursuing with an open mind, especially when you are in a mental health crisis; sounds like you are), and tried some alternatives (shrooms have worked well to shift me out of prolonged depression when the standard meds and therapy were not helping; have a look at https://doi.org/10.1038/s41591-022-01744-z, also a great interview with David Nutt on MedLifeCrisis)
Perhaps you might find Healthly Gamer useful as well (https://www.healthygamer.gg/, interviews on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ). It has been useful for me. The interviews have helped me over the last 6 months not to feel as isolated. They also gave me insight into my therapy and the workings on my mind.
Good luck and I genuinely hope you are able to find a more content existence.
I've also been medicated on SSRIs (in my opinion, they were only worth it when I was going to kill myself), had therapy (good, up to a point for me, but worth pursuing with an open mind, especially when you are in a mental health crisis; sounds like you are), and tried some alternatives (shrooms have worked well to shift me out of prolonged depression when the standard meds and therapy were not helping; have a look at https://doi.org/10.1038/s41591-022-01744-z, also a great interview with David Nutt on MedLifeCrisis)
Perhaps you might find Healthly Gamer useful as well (https://www.healthygamer.gg/, interviews on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ). It has been useful for me. The interviews have helped me over the last 6 months not to feel as isolated. They also gave me insight into my therapy and the workings on my mind.
Good luck and I genuinely hope you are able to find a more content existence.