I suggest checking out the Mr Money Mustache forums. Specifically the Case Study forum. I was in a similar place to you (though with less children), and it took about two years of changes but I now save about 70% of my salary. It has been empowering. It came from a lot of small changes (tips) that rolled to become a mindset change. The Mr Money Mustache forums are focused on retiring early but I prefer to focus on the Financial Independence. I initially thought I would sacrifice happiness, oddly I found the opposite. However everyone is different and I wasn't married when I started, which makes lifestyle changes easier.