Your list is a 100% match with my requirements list for my build in the Chicago area in 2018. Sounds like you may have also spent a lot of time on Green Building Advisor articles and forums.
Our biggest challenge was finding contractors willing to execute to plan. My wife and I ended up doing a lot of work ourselves especially around insulation details and HVAC systems.
Yes, I am a big fan of Green Building Advisor and I also watch a lot of building YouTubers, predominantly Matt Risinger's Build Show[1].
He has featured other builders and home owners who also have websites or channels, and there I've found more information. There was one chap in central Canada that built a ~5k sqft house that only needed around 1600W to heat in the winter in subzero temperatures. That's the type of energy efficiency we need in new home construction if we're ever going to make a dent in climate change.
Our biggest challenge was finding contractors willing to execute to plan. My wife and I ended up doing a lot of work ourselves especially around insulation details and HVAC systems.