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>huge amount of effort over many years into online dating

My god I hope you aren't talking about tinder are you? You are totally clueless about women and dating if that is what you are talking about.

Go out to bars, talk to people, do activities and meet lots of people. stop doing 'online' dating (of any kind)

Seriously, myself and everyone I know found that upon reaching 33 the interest from women in their 20s sky rockets. You are definitely doing something wrong, not society.




Literally everyone I know who is around my age (~34), if I ask them how they met their partner, the will say they met their partner online, myself included.

"go out to bars" is advise that's about 20 years out of date, mate. However, being successful at online dating is non-intuitive and takes skill.

Of course, if you're in your mid 30's and you want to bang college chicks half your age with daddy issues, maybe "going to bars" is the way to go...


I would tell you to take that with a pinch of salt.

I've met people online and dated them. I've also met girls in other ways and dated them, now marrying one. Once or twice, well, we didn't quite want to tell other people how we met. So we didn't. We just said we met online. It's the perfect blow-off justification when you don't want to get into a perhaps complicated and messy story.

People meet in all sorts of ways. I used online dating for years but it was never the most successful strategy. What did work - meeting girls at events, in bars, ideally at events in bars, one or two less conventional ways, and never giving up.


Now I'm really curious - how did you actually meet in the cases where you didn't meet online, but hid it with that clause?


People in their 30s should be avoiding college bars if they're actually looking to meet people and have some kind of connection.

It's pretty easy to strike up conversations with people at bars and events. I know people who met their long term partners on overseas tours, at work and at music festivals. Not everyone uses dating apps, not every person at a bar is ancient or has daddy issues.


> talk to people, do activities and meet lots of people.

You missed the rest of the sentence.


> Seriously, myself and everyone I know found that upon reaching 33 the interest from women in their 20s sky rockets. You are definitely doing something wrong, not society.

Huge YMMV. A lot of us are physically similar to what we were in our 20s but I definitely peaked when I was around 25. It’s been a steady downhill trend since then and the interest from women has gone completely downhill. Mind you - I’m not exactly surrounded by many women I’m interested in but at least in the past I might’ve had someone I wasn’t into express some mild interest in me.

In my 30s though? Nope. Definitely not. Haven’t even lost hair or gained a bunch of fat. Yet - from the results one would think I have.

So, I’d say… grain of salt as far as your experience and your friends goes. I know many men who have basically given up in their 30s because they feel completely undesired and have managed to keep up their physicality.


Totally don't understand this. I'm in my mid sixties and have no trouble finding wonderful women. Am I just extra lucky?


It seems to be a generational thing. Women over 40 are so much easier to date than early thirties and under. I'm 38 and it seems my generation or the ones younger just do it differently. I don't get it. I can't get them to go out in public sooner than 2 months of chatting, but late 30s and early 40s it's usually a few texts and we meet up. It seems the younger generation is more comfortable being virtual. And keeping it that way. Or something. I can't quite put my finger on it but I've stopped even trying to date people in their 30s. 40s+ seems to still live in the physical world.


The younger women aren't actually interested in you. They're just using you as entertainment and keeping you around as a backup option. It's a common online dating strategy for people who are in high demand.

No surprise that women in their 40's are more responsive. There are less men alive at their age and less men interested in dating their peer age. Many men in their 40s want to date someone in their 30s. Men in their 50s want a 40s, etc. It's uncommon for men to want to date someone in the same age bracket as they get older.


The majority of couples meet on Tinder these days. Your advice is outdated


17% of people under 30 have been in a committed relationship with someone they met online, ever (gets lower with age too)

https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/02/06/the-virtues-...

of those with a partner, 21% said they met them online (gets lower with age too)

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-...

And note that this says "online dating" not specifically tinder. Statistics show that 80% of women sleep with 20% of men on Tinder. Tinder is a place women go when they are interested in having sex with men based on nothing other than their looks. That is fine, if you are in the top 20%, if you aren't, it is a real fools errand.


Source ?


https://news.stanford.edu/2019/08/21/online-dating-popular-w...

39% in 2017. I'd be very curious to know the numbers over the past two years as in 2017 bars/restaurants were at 27%, school/college at 9%, and work at 11%.


Thanks - and that 39% only includes heterosexual couples


I'm not sure if it's the cities I've been living in but bars seem to have relatively few women in them. Going to a bar in search of a partner almost seems not so different than swiping on Tinder.




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