I went from an occasional social user to a habitual personal user...because COVID and staying at home were killing me. And it actually doubled my productivity. But eventually got to the point where I HAD to smoke to perform, and definitely had a way worse sober baseline after a year of persistent use. So I stopped. Regret having gone down that path =(.
I also went really hard this last year and am currently pulling back on my usage. I don't regret it. Now I know what all the danger signs are and I can recognize them in the future.
Thats awesom, i wish i had just kept smoking for pleasure instead of work. I think the daytime smoking messed me up...just felt really stupid and unmotivated in the end. The last straw was when I waked and baked and went to a meeting with leadership.
Yeah, but don't beat yourself up. That line can be really hard to find depending on your circumstances. For instance, I WFH and make my own hours, so there's not really a time of day I CAN'T be fucked up. This is also the first time in my life I had the money for a drug habit lol.
But yeah, my rule for meetings is that unless it's a meeting I'm running, complete sobriety is a must. The idea of being high around leadership is terrifying (same reason I don't drink when we have work conferences).
