Don't want to bother with OS updates? CoreOS exists. And containers abstract away the fiddly parts of running services. Firecracker/Ignite exists. I feel like all the parts are there to build what you want. Except there's no market for it. Even if it were free and easy to run your own Nextcloud instance, most users would never switch away from Google/Apple/Microsoft.
Techie users can roll their own servers. Power users can buy a NAS with 1-click service installs. Normal users don't even want alternative services.
I don't think that's true, people bitch about those services all the time. Everyone that uses FB has a gripe about it. Windows users have been complaining about Windows non-stop for thirty years.
I'm not arguing that people will switch off of those to crappy self-hosted replacements out of sheer spite against megacorps, I'm arguing that they will switch when self-hosted replacements are better and easier to use. Building a self-hosted platform that does what Facebook does more easily and conveniently than Facebook is hard, but IMHO it's easier than building AWS or Salesforce, and it gets easier every year, due to bandwidth and cloud hardware getting cheaper and big tech getting more user-hostile.
Techie users can roll their own servers. Power users can buy a NAS with 1-click service installs. Normal users don't even want alternative services.