Correct. Ketamine is making strides due to the fact that it is already a legal drug and pharma can charge big bucks for it. It is very helpful in the acute sense, but long-term results are bleak. Psilocbin on the other hand has decades of research behind it showing how well it can be used for therapeutic purposes, but there is no money in it right now. I hate to sound like a tin hat conspiracy theorist - but I guarantee that once a pharmaceutical company can legally sell psilocybin therapy you'll never hear about ketamine again.

I've tried many antidepressants with mild improvement. The drugs give me the ability to function, but i'm just pretty numb. I've done lots of talk therapy, with little success. The problem is that I emotionally shutdown as a child due to a lot of traumatic events. Would ketamine open me up, to allow me to deal with the trauma I buried ?

Have you tried 5-HTP? I started taking it around a decade ago, maybe more, and it was really helpful for my depression.

Aside from 5-HTP, I started taking oral ketamine for chronic neuropathic pain around 1-2 years back, and it's been absolutely transformational - I've suffered with depression for my entire life, even when I was a kid, and now for the first time ever I feel... like it's maybe not an issue! The dark feelings of sadness and loneliness, the random tears, the pointless futility of existence... those just aren't there anymore.