I have a boy who is a 23+2 prem. Who spent around 6 months in the hospital, had brain damage due to the trauma, blindness due to retinopathy of prematurity, severe skin disfiguration of the lower abdomen due to aspergillosis. He's non verbal and whilst mentally a lot easier to deal with than my other kids it is quite physically demanding.
My wife was diagnosed with cancer a few years back, aggressive, but was treated and it seems to be in remission though the side effects of treatment are still taking a toll on her (severe joint pain mainly).
I injured myself a few months prior to my wife's cancer, spinal disc related, was due to have surgery a few months after my wife's cancer diagnosis and ended up putting it off until the pandemic hit and then put it off again until last August.
Suffice it to say, the surgery was not entirely successful and I'm at the point where as a 36 year old person I'm not able to squat, stairs are difficult and it feels like my entire nervous system is on fire constantly. So much that when I have a good day and get used to being pain free for a while, that when I slip into a bad day, I'm just completely irritable and have lost all patience. As such, caring for my son has become borderline impossible without help.
I won't say it's easy and let's be clear I have to be honest and say that this is not about you as much as I know this impacts you and you will feel the mental pressure. The important thing is to do as much as you can for your mother whilst keeping her distracted with things to do.
I took very little leave as I also needed the distraction too for my own pain and just so I didnt have to process my families trauma at that time. My personal opinion is having an idle mind is the worst thing.
Things will eventually change for your mother and hopefully it is for the best. Take leave for the day after chemotherapy and ask for help from other people too (siblings, in laws, friends) and this doesn't have to mean actual care for your mother but perhaps other things in the house that need taking care of (childcare, cooking, etc).
I have a boy who is a 23+2 prem. Who spent around 6 months in the hospital, had brain damage due to the trauma, blindness due to retinopathy of prematurity, severe skin disfiguration of the lower abdomen due to aspergillosis. He's non verbal and whilst mentally a lot easier to deal with than my other kids it is quite physically demanding.
My wife was diagnosed with cancer a few years back, aggressive, but was treated and it seems to be in remission though the side effects of treatment are still taking a toll on her (severe joint pain mainly).
I injured myself a few months prior to my wife's cancer, spinal disc related, was due to have surgery a few months after my wife's cancer diagnosis and ended up putting it off until the pandemic hit and then put it off again until last August.
Suffice it to say, the surgery was not entirely successful and I'm at the point where as a 36 year old person I'm not able to squat, stairs are difficult and it feels like my entire nervous system is on fire constantly. So much that when I have a good day and get used to being pain free for a while, that when I slip into a bad day, I'm just completely irritable and have lost all patience. As such, caring for my son has become borderline impossible without help.
I won't say it's easy and let's be clear I have to be honest and say that this is not about you as much as I know this impacts you and you will feel the mental pressure. The important thing is to do as much as you can for your mother whilst keeping her distracted with things to do.
I took very little leave as I also needed the distraction too for my own pain and just so I didnt have to process my families trauma at that time. My personal opinion is having an idle mind is the worst thing.
Things will eventually change for your mother and hopefully it is for the best. Take leave for the day after chemotherapy and ask for help from other people too (siblings, in laws, friends) and this doesn't have to mean actual care for your mother but perhaps other things in the house that need taking care of (childcare, cooking, etc).