I think you're just wrong about how merit-based our industry is. I don't think it is meaningfully more merit-based than other industries, nor is it more challenging, despite the fact that it is often presented as both of these things.
I doubt there is anything I could say to convince you of this, so I guess we should call this one a draw.
It is difficult compared to most other jobs, and within tech startups the people who make outsized returns are the executives / VPs / upper management. Getting a job at that level is not easy, or at least in my experience at a mix of failing / middling / successful companies, the successful ones have a very high bar.
I think compared to other industries, you can make a comfortable upper-middle class salary by being a fairly competent person. But to succeed in a very high way is as brutal as any other industry.
I doubt there is anything I could say to convince you of this, so I guess we should call this one a draw.