That's actually very witty. I do realise though that eating good quality food is not a choice that everyone is free make in the US. Not when a decent carrot costs the same as a cheeseburger down the road [1]
I guess I'm not most people. But if I grill a burger, it's thicker and juicier, is on a better bun of some sort, and I actually like it. Not that I've eaten one in years but fast food burgers are pretty awful in my opinion generally. (The higher end fast casual places, on the other hand, I quite like now and then--usually when traveling.)
They are, because they have to be cooked to death to reduce any chance of food-bourne pathogens. If you took a McDonald's quarter pounder beef patty and cooked or grilled it at home to medium doneness it would be as good as the same thing made with supermarket ground beef.
I worked the grill at McDonalds for a while (admittedly two decades ago) and I disagree. They were frozen when retrieved for cooking and I just don't think those frozen pucks compare to fresher ground chuck hamburgers that occasionally I buy at the grocers.
Correction: .. among people that are into eating junk food
I can assure you there are many many people that would not touch Mickey-D, nor Wendy's, nor Burger King.