Retirement is not a binary. Why don’t you go do all the stuff you want to do for 6 months or a year? Maybe do a few short freelance/contract gigs during that time so there’s no resume gap. F*** the recruiters who expect zero resume gaps in a lifetime anyways. I mean life is just too short for this kind of crap, go have fun and have some faith that things will work out. You either jump or you don't.