I lived in NYC for about a decade, I did not work in Finance, instead I was a consultant at one of the big consulting companies that has > 200k employees worldwide. I hated it, I would physically dread going to work some days, compounded by the fact that I would have to go out of town to places I didn't want to be. I was miserable, and it was making me physically sick, which I suspect you'll start feeling or already are feeling. Then one day, my partner could see I was suffering, and told me to quit, she was right, and I did a few weeks later when I found a different job.
A few things I took from that experience.
1) If you hate what you do, the money only works for so long until it doesn't matter how much it is and you're getting physically sick. Earning a good living and being healthy is so much more important than retiring early with ulcers or other problems.
2) If the money can't buy you the things you really want, what does it matter if you have more of it but still not enough. This is a really hard one, that took me a while to come to grips with, and I'm probably still coming to grips with. Ask yourself what is really the value of money. for me I want money to live in a nice home (modest by most peoples standards, middle class without the huge mortgage), buy a car that doesn't break down constantly (VW has been great at making these), save some money for retirement and for a rainy day, try to take a vacation once in a while (hello road trip), then I just want to spend time with family and friends.
3) Change is scary, we stay in bad situations a lot longer than we should because we don't know if the alternative will be worse.
4) A similar job at a place with a different culture can massively change things. I currently work as a consultant and it's great, my coworkers are great and one of the conditions is that I don't travel more than one week of every month, although with Covid I haven't traveled at all. This is so much better for me and lets me spend so much more time with my family.
The rest is some advice I would give to a friend if they said the same things you've said to me.
If you can't afford a place in London where you would like to live, you could look to an up and coming neighborhood, in 10 years it will likely look a lot different and you'll be happy you got in when you did. Alternatively you could buy a house in a place you want to retire, you could rent it out or have it as a vacation home on Airbnb, that way if real estate continues to do what it has been doing you'll have a nice asset, and a place you like to visit. Also, your partner sounds like they're really hitting their groove, but they also might grow to dislike their job in 5 or 10 years.
edit: make sure you tell your partner how you're feeling, they might just tell you to take some time off to regroup, sometimes we get so wrapped up we don't see how others are suffering because we're not.
A few things I took from that experience.
1) If you hate what you do, the money only works for so long until it doesn't matter how much it is and you're getting physically sick. Earning a good living and being healthy is so much more important than retiring early with ulcers or other problems.
2) If the money can't buy you the things you really want, what does it matter if you have more of it but still not enough. This is a really hard one, that took me a while to come to grips with, and I'm probably still coming to grips with. Ask yourself what is really the value of money. for me I want money to live in a nice home (modest by most peoples standards, middle class without the huge mortgage), buy a car that doesn't break down constantly (VW has been great at making these), save some money for retirement and for a rainy day, try to take a vacation once in a while (hello road trip), then I just want to spend time with family and friends.
3) Change is scary, we stay in bad situations a lot longer than we should because we don't know if the alternative will be worse.
4) A similar job at a place with a different culture can massively change things. I currently work as a consultant and it's great, my coworkers are great and one of the conditions is that I don't travel more than one week of every month, although with Covid I haven't traveled at all. This is so much better for me and lets me spend so much more time with my family.
The rest is some advice I would give to a friend if they said the same things you've said to me.
If you can't afford a place in London where you would like to live, you could look to an up and coming neighborhood, in 10 years it will likely look a lot different and you'll be happy you got in when you did. Alternatively you could buy a house in a place you want to retire, you could rent it out or have it as a vacation home on Airbnb, that way if real estate continues to do what it has been doing you'll have a nice asset, and a place you like to visit. Also, your partner sounds like they're really hitting their groove, but they also might grow to dislike their job in 5 or 10 years.
edit: make sure you tell your partner how you're feeling, they might just tell you to take some time off to regroup, sometimes we get so wrapped up we don't see how others are suffering because we're not.