This sounds like a combo of mild depression, burn out, and concrete/legitimate issues. I would try and disambiguate which of these is the driving vs contributing factor. Reductionist reasoning trends to nihilism for every job/activity (including travel, meditation, etc).
Maybe you are expecting too much from your job in terms of fulfillment/meaning? Or too little?
Community and people make our lives richer than money. Maybe find a job just as meaningless but with people you really enjoy working with?
Keep taking time for yourself and dig into this. What do you need the money for? Why? Why do you think retirement will be meaningful? What is meaningful to you? How can you optimize for that?
Agreed on the depression aspect. Working a job you hate while feeling trapped is a perfect recipe for depression, even if you otherwise aren’t predisposed.
I cannot recommend enough the value of finding a trusted therapist during such a time. Such a person can be difficult to find and you shouldn’t stop trying if the first person you see isn’t a good fit. (This probably doesn’t work for everyone.)
Once you feel like you have your feet under you again, quit your job. If you’re able, take a job that prioritizes your happiness over your salary. I took a pay cut for greater job satisfaction and the trade off was worth it (for me; again, this won’t be the same for everyone).
Maybe you are expecting too much from your job in terms of fulfillment/meaning? Or too little?
Community and people make our lives richer than money. Maybe find a job just as meaningless but with people you really enjoy working with?
Keep taking time for yourself and dig into this. What do you need the money for? Why? Why do you think retirement will be meaningful? What is meaningful to you? How can you optimize for that?