What did it for me was financial independence. It's easier to set boundaries when the fear of missing out is gone.
When I started setting those boundaries (eg: not working evenings, weekends, etc) I discovered a few interesting things.
1) No one even noticed. It turns out most people are busy enough with their personal lives that my work schedule isn't on anyone's mind.
2) When there are delays we just push the date or adjust the scope. I'm no longer getting pats on the back for moving the needle at light speed, but I'm still outperforming my peers.
3) Now I need to be mindful about how I make my decisions. When I brute forced, I would throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. I'd eventually find the optimal solution to a problem and that's the only thing other people would see. They didn't see the 100 other failed attempts and wasted time. Now I don't have 100 attempts at solving a problem: I have like 5 attempts. It works out fine.
Could I have been doing this all along? Was my chaotic brute force working model just a lot of wasted energy? Could I have just worked smarter, not harder?
