I hear this statement repeated often, but it's really not true. Even if lightning network channels ended up pooling to larger liquidity providers for efficiency reasons (less channels of larger size), you still are not ever giving up custody of your Bitcoin by using a lightning channel. And in terms of node operators having "control" because a lot of volume flows through them - they really don't - all they can do is try block you from making transactions through them, but if they do that, many others will pop up to route around them to earn fees.

I don't give up custody of my money by keeping it at a bank.

I'm not sure how that's relevant?

As crypto matures it becomes less and less decentralized and more like our "legacy" world of finance. It gets to the point where the main benefit you can give is that you are still in control of your bitcoin. My response was that with traditional banks I feel just as in control of my money. Granted I live in the US and that might not be the case everywhere.