Obviously it would be nice not to be rude to people who, after all, are working on something that benefits you, if you are prepared to call other people out like this:
He annotated a passive-aggressive annotation on a patch I made and basically hijacked a presentation I made because the library I presented did not fit his aesthetics & work style. I don't remember ever acting in an uncivil way toward him.
If you regularly act like an asshole, expect to get a reputation and to be treated like one (even unfairly).
Btw, I'm glad you are bringing civility up. For some reason the lack of a civil vibe (at least from my experience in the Ruby community) really bothers me.
I want to oppose to the impression that there is a lack of civil vibe within the ruby community. I work on the Padrino project and most of the communication with the ruby community, our committers and our users is highly enjoyable. Jerks can be found everywhere, but they are a minority.
It really depends on what projects and groups of people you're interacting with. We have a wonderful community around Ruby Mendicant University, but it's because the folks there really care about teaching and learning as a primary goal, so they self-select towards being friendly.
Ruby isn't really a community anymore, it's an ecosystem. So if the current neighborhoods you're hanging out in don't seem too friendly, look for other ones. Different projects and organizations have different culture, and even if the union of all of those distinct groups is on a downward trend, there are still new and old groups that are going strong who are nice and helpful.
http://rubyhitsquad.com/Ruby_Hit_Squad.html
Then I believe you should probably have a thicker skin in return.