Surely, I do care about putting (good) food on the table and that seems the only motivation that keeps me doing this. But it used to be more manageable in the past and I certainly do miss those times when when you learned something new you felt empowered and almost giddy with joy. That happens less and less and I feel the dread coming down in advance when the new fad comes in and having to learn something new that isn't just better, in many cases something arguably worse and needlessly more complicated. Recently I had to develop an app in Microsoft Powerapps and while I admit to some good business uses the whole experience was an exercise in frustration. And it felt more like monkey around than programming if you know what I mean.