A lot of what you said speaks to me. I tried moving to a small city surrounded by nature, but the intense isolation I felt even surrounded by anyone there just scuttled me into a deeper depression and I swam back to NYC after 2 years. I dearly miss my nightly bike rides to quietly watch the moon play with the flickering water of the lake.
But being here doesn't help me too much because awhile ago I worked my way into independent/isolated situation where I can support my self working part time from home. I get to see glimpses of other big inner worlds here and it gives me hope I'll have a chance to meet them.
My parents did not want or love me. My grades fluctuated in high school as I was unfocused/depressed. Creativity was my escape. Ended up graduating with a B-, decided not to go to college. Have done a fair amount of traveling (mostly local) and car camping around the US. I would move into the mountains in a heartbeat if I wouldn't be completely alone there.
>"I remain convinced that the majority of people are idiots, with the equivalent of a flickering strip lamp for a mind"
This gave me a good laugh, so true. But it really depends where you live. It seems like all the bright lights move to a city to manufacture mirrors :D
If you're really interested in this there are large vanlifer/vandweller communities all over specifically so that people don't get lonely and to help one another out and establish that sense of community. /r/vandwelling /r/vanlife there are discords, etc.
The slow/internet is my problem. I'm pretty close to living in the mountains apart from that.
The ancient mill we bought here (Portugal) was dirt cheap, in part because there was no internet access or power - so I built a mast atop a nearby hill to relay 4G down to the house, and put together solar power - we’ve got a ~100Mbps connection and more power than we can use.
Also, starlink and all that could really change things - although my telescope doesn’t love it.
And... I’ve found similar spirits in this endeavour - it takes a certain type to be willing to go try bootstrapping a homestead, and they usually have interesting stories and knowledge to share. Today I learned that motor oil is a good belt-and-braces wood treatment, and how to repair a dam, from a local farmer we’re getting to know.
Having a language barrier is pretty handy - it takes away a lot of the frustration I find in slow interactions by adding a bucketload of cognitive overhead.
But being here doesn't help me too much because awhile ago I worked my way into independent/isolated situation where I can support my self working part time from home. I get to see glimpses of other big inner worlds here and it gives me hope I'll have a chance to meet them.
My parents did not want or love me. My grades fluctuated in high school as I was unfocused/depressed. Creativity was my escape. Ended up graduating with a B-, decided not to go to college. Have done a fair amount of traveling (mostly local) and car camping around the US. I would move into the mountains in a heartbeat if I wouldn't be completely alone there.
>"I remain convinced that the majority of people are idiots, with the equivalent of a flickering strip lamp for a mind" This gave me a good laugh, so true. But it really depends where you live. It seems like all the bright lights move to a city to manufacture mirrors :D