This sort of “if you aren’t eternally vigilant, it’s your fault” attitude is really not the way to go. People are busy and have stuff to do, places to be. Expecting everyone to read various essays on the ethics and practices of every single consumer service is unrealistic and has bad consequences.

This is kind of the principle upon which society is built. I should be able to trust that the food at the grocery store is safe for me to eat; I shouldn’t need to conduct deep research into the supply chain to ensure it won’t poison me.

Sure, I was not clear about that and this was not my intention. Of course a grand-mother with limited technological savvy is not at fault here.

However, a technical writer, and a developer, such as is the case, is not only supposed to know about facebook's callousness, but to be active explaining it. The fact that even developers use facebook as if it was a socially acceptable possibility is an extremely sad state of affairs.

Even Stallman agrees that you can't blame the people being used by these platforms. You're misinterpreting Stallman's message.

I remember RMS using "victim co-perpetrator" in his piece about wearing ties. It looks to me like the perfect category for people who use hostile platforms which take advantage of network effects.