I think the emotions and really the whole operation of the mental states is reasonable, but not internally logical. They arise in predictable patterns from experiences and so on, but they can very easily override logic. To understand your emotions, you have to see and admit you aren't the nice logical person you might have expected.
Decades ago, my coworkers and I would draw FSMs of our mgmt on the white board with cryptic lables. While they did get complicated they were understandable.
Put in the time and focus, and one day it will just click.