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I've noticed something similar. I used to be able to get into games, like become completely immersed such that it was a magical experience.

These days, no way. I'm not sure why it is, but I recall reading a few threads where people our age lament the same thing happening to them.

In my case, I suspect it may be rooted in anxiety, guilt for fear of wasting time not being productive.

Yet, illogically I'll end up hooked on certain competitive multiplayer games and waste the time just the same. I suspect certain games play into anxious behavior more, especially games with a short match format.

The last single player game I truly enjoyed in a magical sense, I had to block out the time for it ahead of time, like it was a task to complete. That seemed to help a lot with enjoyment strangely enough.



From what I know, we feel less in order to not feel certain negative emotions we carry with us.

I discovered recently a book that says we carry with us some "lifetraps" we picked-up during childhood. The lifetraps are:

1. "Please, don't leave me!" - The Abandonment Lifetrap

2. "I can't trust you" - The Mistrust and Abuse Lifetrap

3. "I'll never get the love I need" - The Emotional Deprivation Lifetrap

4. "I don't fit in" - The Social Exclusion Lifetrap

5. "I can't make it on my own" - The Dependence Lifetrap

6. "Catastrophe is about to strike" - The Vulnerability Lifetrap

7. "I'm worthless" - The Defectiveness Lifetrap

8. "I feel like such a failure" - The Failure Lifetrap

9. "I always do it your way" - The Subjugation Lifetrap

10. "It's never quite good enough" - The Unrelenting Standards Lifetrap

11. "I can have whatever I want" - The Entitlement Lifetrap

One way we cope with them is by avoiding the feelings they cause and we do that by numbing ourselves.

LE: The book is called "Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior" by Jeffrey Young.


I can relate to several of that. In the end i believe it’s really hard to build a life where you feel secure but still can express yourself. So over time you play a role for the outside but inside you just go numb. I guess it has been this way for most people throughout history. Societies aren’t designed for happiness and self expression.


Strangely, I feel better in situations I am less secure. More alert, less bored. And when I do have a certain degree of control over the volatile, and potentially threatening, situation it just feels great. Not in the sense of joy, so. More like a certain kind of calm satisfaction.


Same here. But I think there are two levels to this. I often feel energized in challenging situations if I can go back to a secure life afterwards. Even if the situation is life threatening . But being fundamentally insecure as in serious long term health problems or being broke and not able to find a job or being homeless is just never ending misery without escape.


It's true that it has been this way for most of human history. That's why children usually perpetuate their parents' behaviors. But you can stop this. That's what the book says. It takes a lot of work, but you can gradually change your beliefs.




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