I wonder if the same chemical switch that he talks about gets flipped if you adopt a child, or marry a single parent and thus become a step-parent. If so, I wonder how young the child has to be for that to happen.
It’s not a switch, not in a meaningful way. It’s the time spent together that forms the bond. I don’t love my kid because I had sex to have him, I do because I taught him how to walks and speak, go to the toilet and play with marbles and had all kinds of fun in the process. I love him because every time I show him something new, or I let him have a spoon of my coffee (he loves it) there’s a wide smile appearing on his face followed by “I love you daddy”. Its the most validating, gratifying experience I had in my life, even if it’s a pain in the ass and I’d rather watch tv or tinker in the garage instead of sitting on the bleachers of this gym while he practices somersaults. If I adopted him it would be largely the same thing.
If it's chemically-based, maybe it can be induced.
I wonder - and I'm being serious here, although this could certainly be a terrible idea for various reasons - what would happen if, say, a low dose of MDMA or similar were administered to new parents when they first began bonding with their child. Surely a spike of serotonin and oxytocin plays a role in the physiology of parental attachment? Perhaps guaranteeing such a spike could have significant long-term effects by helping to cement this bond?
