Part of functioning well in groups is understanding that not everyone shares your specific quirks - everyone has their own weird shit.

Of course, trying to accommodate everyone's unique perspective and behaviors would never scale, so instead we fabricate social norms that represent a sort of common denominator of human behavior. Part of these social norms are manners and polite behavior. These act as a sort of protocol for human interaction.

This all a long way of saying that even though you may think saying "please" is condescending or implies a favor, you are almost certainly in a vanishingly small minority and this will not serve you well socially.

I am trying to give you some insight into why you struggle with social interactions and often rub people the wrong way without intending to or even realizing it. My strong recommendation is you be polite even when you think you don't need to be.

Tolerance for and expectation of "please" can be cultural. OS code may receive contributions from global contributors.

Anecdotally, in my team which spans individuals from each continent except Africa and the poles, US english speakers are the least likely to use 'please', whereas our APAC (asia-pacific) contributors use it liberally.

Was i was trying to say was mainly that saying please implies that what is asked is more of a personal taste, and not an objective thing that really should be fixed.

If it's really something subjective I would say "This would be nicer if..." or "I think that could be changed to..." Instead of formulating some almost passive-aggressive request with "please".

or SE Asian team members who say "yes boss, sure" and then do nothing... and then you find they disagreed with the thing you proposed but there's no way in their culture that they can disagree with the boss, so they just say yes and do nothing. That one was fun to deal with ;)

Canadians will use it liberally along with thanks.

And sorry.