There is so much to factor in, too. I'm pretty happy with options if my base salary gives me a decent quality of life, I certainly wouldn't work for less on a gamble, considering the failure rate of startups. Never mind the fact that you are making a secondary investment in the same place you work, so you are doing worse than putting your eggs in one basket.
It's a nice bonus that _might_ pay something out. It's not a replacement for a proper salary.
That said, I can appreciate the desire to get skin in the game. Would love to see research on how necessary that is, though.
I think you may still be missing the point. What is the harm in completely ignoring the stock options and negotiating strictly on base pay. I think stock options for the most part should be considered like free snacks in the workplace. "Nice-to-have", they taste better because they're free, and if all the sudden they get yanked you didn't stake any livelihood or change of circumstance for it. If they end up becoming something great - maybe you get a new espresso maker, extra bathrooms at work, or an office instead of an open desk. Rarely will stock options change your life that you shouldn't plan on them but a nice perk if they do as they are very infrequently life-changing by any measure.
It's a nice bonus that _might_ pay something out. It's not a replacement for a proper salary.
That said, I can appreciate the desire to get skin in the game. Would love to see research on how necessary that is, though.