Facebook can easily be a dumpster fire, but I've found ways to get a lot of value out of it.
First off, by not letting myself get dragged into bad behavior when provoked, which is hard, when it comes to talking about controversial topics, but primarily by focusing on single topic groups that keep a tight rein on topics of discussion... in other words, rules like "No politics or religion, etc." or "We are here because we like "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" and not to hate on J.J. Abrams", etc.
Even fandom-based groups can be ugly, but by looking for groups where the focus is on the positive rather than the negative, great discussion and even debate can be had without having things degenerate to YouTube comments level. Some of these groups will even have an "entrance exam" asking you a trivia question or for your opinion on the topic so that you must demonstrate you actually know something about what the group discusses, and aren't just there to throw grenades.
I think this is the way people can make good use of the fact that "everyone" is on Facebook. It allows you to create your own little clubhouse, and as with real clubs, some are good and some are bad, but you can look for the good ones and leave the bad ones behind.
tl;dr On Facebook, private groups can be very beneficial.
For me Facebook messenger is the only part that matters. If I don’t know you enough to speak with you on there I will never see your posts, since I very rarely go on the main site. So political opinions from my grandma don’t really enter into my usage
First off, by not letting myself get dragged into bad behavior when provoked, which is hard, when it comes to talking about controversial topics, but primarily by focusing on single topic groups that keep a tight rein on topics of discussion... in other words, rules like "No politics or religion, etc." or "We are here because we like "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" and not to hate on J.J. Abrams", etc.
Even fandom-based groups can be ugly, but by looking for groups where the focus is on the positive rather than the negative, great discussion and even debate can be had without having things degenerate to YouTube comments level. Some of these groups will even have an "entrance exam" asking you a trivia question or for your opinion on the topic so that you must demonstrate you actually know something about what the group discusses, and aren't just there to throw grenades.
I think this is the way people can make good use of the fact that "everyone" is on Facebook. It allows you to create your own little clubhouse, and as with real clubs, some are good and some are bad, but you can look for the good ones and leave the bad ones behind.
tl;dr On Facebook, private groups can be very beneficial.