Having once experienced true deep friendship, like everything, it sets your standard perhaps irrevocably too high.
I've found the campfire model to produce a lot of mental distress and anguish, since no one is invested in anyone, there's no incentive to grow and as time passes, you start viewing these passing relationships as disposable.
Don't get me wrong, the campfire model is fine as an aspect of general hospitality, but to truly call these passersby your friends would not be correct. They don't contribute to your safety net, nor are you likely in turn to contribute to theirs.
Perhaps I'm not as selfless as you. I just want to be surrounded by people who have "skin in the game", because true friendship and a sense of camaraderie is only built through overcoming difficulties together.
> Because sometimes that person who sits down at your fire is the person you have been waiting for, and only by making a seat for them were you able to ever meet
It's a nice analogy, but a little too romanticized for me.
>> you start viewing these passing relationships as disposable.
I would say that all relationships are temporary. Even in marriage, one party usually dies before the other and that person has then left for good. To realize that relationships are inherently temporary does not mean they are disposable - that word suggests something of low value, like garbage. When you accept that things are temporary perhaps it will help you appreciate the people who stick around, or come indoors from the cold/campfire and stay longer.
It's not easy to accept the world this way. It requires (and fosters) a sense of peace with oneself among other things. That's something worth working toward even if you're not there yet.
Redefining all "temporary" friendships as disposable also defeats the purpose of the word, and is in my eyes much more detrimental to your surroundings than accepting that friendships are (might be) temporary.
I've found the campfire model to produce a lot of mental distress and anguish, since no one is invested in anyone, there's no incentive to grow and as time passes, you start viewing these passing relationships as disposable.
Don't get me wrong, the campfire model is fine as an aspect of general hospitality, but to truly call these passersby your friends would not be correct. They don't contribute to your safety net, nor are you likely in turn to contribute to theirs.
Perhaps I'm not as selfless as you. I just want to be surrounded by people who have "skin in the game", because true friendship and a sense of camaraderie is only built through overcoming difficulties together.
> Because sometimes that person who sits down at your fire is the person you have been waiting for, and only by making a seat for them were you able to ever meet
It's a nice analogy, but a little too romanticized for me.