I'm reminded of my kids when they were little. In a angry, sobbing mess: "She made me [fill in the blank]!" Usually, my response was around the lines of, "no, you chose to react by [fill in the blank]."
A concrete example. It could start with a provoked action, like taunting leading to frustration, leading to an outburst where milk got spilled and the spiller blaming the taunter. "You made me spill my milk!" Nearly every time, I would attempt to explain that the spiller chose to react the way they did, and while it is not ok that they were taunted, it was their choice to throw a fit and it was their fault the milk was spilled or their fault they were angry. They were not manually forced to spill their milk. Their choices led to that. And on the flip side, the other child would be scolded separately for being mean.
I tried to teach them that they are responsible for how they feel and how they act. The world can't "make" them feel or act, they choose it. Time will tell if that lesson was helpful.
A concrete example. It could start with a provoked action, like taunting leading to frustration, leading to an outburst where milk got spilled and the spiller blaming the taunter. "You made me spill my milk!" Nearly every time, I would attempt to explain that the spiller chose to react the way they did, and while it is not ok that they were taunted, it was their choice to throw a fit and it was their fault the milk was spilled or their fault they were angry. They were not manually forced to spill their milk. Their choices led to that. And on the flip side, the other child would be scolded separately for being mean.
I tried to teach them that they are responsible for how they feel and how they act. The world can't "make" them feel or act, they choose it. Time will tell if that lesson was helpful.