Not trying to be a troll -- Tokyo subways come to mind.

1 watt corresponds to an in-use phone. Heavy data use. Even a call has much lower power. Unless the phone is actively doing something, the cell pings are very brief and use very little power.

You're discounting the fact that cell phones are more used for data than for talking and data is always being transmitted, especially with apps that run in the background.

But how many people use their phones for data while holding them against their heads? (Not to mention in a shielded cubicle?)

And how many can even get service in a crowded subway?

most. offline people doing podcasts and games probably don't emmit much less.

Nah, the amount of power used for data is just also low when not being actively used. I'm sure some people update over 4G, but not many.

Even then, how many people can be within touching distance? 10? 20 if they’re making a real effort? So let’s say 20 within a meter, and let’s say they’re all actively using their cell phones... it’s going to be significantly less than 20 watts, so still nowhere close. If a few hundred people beyond that are using their phones it will add an asymptotically diminishing amount of energy, so you’re never going to come close to the exposure these rodents experienced.