The problem with phrases like "Leading Provider" isn't just that they're too marketese, but that they're obviously false. They destroy your credibility before the game even begins.
Moral of the story: Just speak English and tell the truth. A concept so revolutionary, it just may work.
Great post, Jason. You put a label (early adopters) on the demographic many of us should be pursuing. Thank you.
I agree with you, but I'll allow that it may depend on to whom you are marketing yourself. I think it may sell to, and may even be necessary in order to sell to, a slightly-below-average non-discriminating (to you and me) consumer.
Nice piece - jacquesm made an analogous point the other day in a nice write-up chiding founders of small companies for their sometimes pretentious use of officer titles, sparking a lively discussion (http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1382657 - "You Are Not the CEO").
At the height of the bubble, it became common wisdom that startups somehow were not real startups unless they distinguished themselves from small businesses by staking out a grand vision and promoting it relentlessly in their business plans, in their marketing materials, and in their company presentations. It was at that time that everybody and his uncle suddenly became a "leading provider" of this or that, even when the claim obviously lacked credibility. Such claims always sounded phony and, even if an occasional company eventually lived up to them, were almost sure to be discounted as empty and meaningless by the customers who counted.
So it is refreshing to see a direct and sincere style aimed at early adopters as opposed to the large buyers who will tend to shy away from large commitments to unproven startups no matter how promising the products or services.
One can be sincere without overdoing it, however, and too much emphasis on "three founders in a room" and the like is perhaps too casual.
Good points. This is our about: http://thinkcode.tv/about. It's not exactly "how you doin'", but it's doesn't contain any bullshit either. What do you think?
Bullshit is useful - it's fertilizer. Your "about" starts out by wasting my time.
"ThinkCode.TV is a project from ThinkCode Labs, Inc, a Canadian startup founded in 2009"
Someone may care about Canada. Someone may care about 2009. (I doubt that there are many people who care about either one, but ....) However, no one cares about the relationship of ThinkCode.TV to ThinkCode Labs. (You're not Bell Labs.)
Is your goal to get someone to care about ThinkCode.TV or about ThinkCode Labs? Pick one and dump the reference to the other. Then replace ". We are" with "," and ask yourself if your names are the most important thing that you want to get across. If not, that sentence is in the wrong place.
Kill "deeply rooted", "strongly", "a viable business," ,and "in today’s ever-changing world". (That leaves an unnecessary comma.) Better yet, rewrite that sentence so it highlights your customer's needs and not your beliefs. (They only care about your beliefs so far as those beliefs have some relationship to them getting what they want.) And, when you do, remember that modifiers are like knots - they weaken. Yes, even the emphatic ones.
What's your highest priority? If it's not customer service, don't use the word priority in the last paragraph. (If it is, what does that say about your product?) Kill the first and last sentences in that paragraph and rewrite the middle one.
The contact form is too cute. Is it better than a e-mail link/address?
Your sentences are too long for me to be easily scanned. Also I would suggest making "ThinkCode.TV is the product of a very ambitious idea by three programmers with a deeply rooted passion for programming, the open source movement, and education." -> We are three programmers with a deeply rooted passion for programming, the open source movement, and education."
Moral of the story: Just speak English and tell the truth. A concept so revolutionary, it just may work.
Great post, Jason. You put a label (early adopters) on the demographic many of us should be pursuing. Thank you.